The girl with kaleidoscope eyes

This is currently who I am... I think I've mentioned before that my eyes sometimes go a bit funny from the chemo - it's been doing the weird kaleidoscope thing this morning. That's the only way I can describe it, I look up to the left of my eye and it looks all weird and sparkly. Bizarre. 

I got out of hospital yesterday morning which I was very pleased about. I've not been feeling great though. I've been told constantly that the more chemo I get, the worse I'll feel. This thought really frustrates me and I know it will most likely get worse after the next cycle. I've got a horrible taste in my mouth all the time and yesterday I was eating anything to get rid of it. I was again on the pickled onions! So many things have lost flavour - mum brought me biscuits and cheese with chutney and I couldn't taste anything.. I normally love cheese! Last night I was also a bit sick, it's the first time I've been sick at home which wasn't nice. I've been given more anti sickness medication to take so hopefully that will do the job. 

I found it tougher in hospital this time. I was hooked up to the machine for five days and I only get unhooked to have a ten minute shower every day. It's been easier with the Hickman line in place but it's still quite uncomfortable. It's weird to think I'll have this thing on the side of my chest until my treatment is over.. None of my tops cover it so I will look rather strange! All the fluids they gave me made me go to the bathroom constantly so really disturbed my sleep. I can't remember what it's like to sleep the whole night through - the dream! I'm rubbish at napping during the day too so I definitely struggled with the lack of sleep. 

I again had some lovely visitors and I'm so thankful for everyone coming to see me! James, Teenie and ML were around on Sunday and then Dad and Jamie showed up. We taught Dad how to play the After Eight Game... It's safe to say he was rubbish. On Tuesday the comedian Kevin Bridges came to the ward to have a look round. I asked Cat and ML if they wanted to come and Jamie came too. It was an odd situation.. We went into the TCT room late cos I was getting hooked up to chemo and by the time we entered they had already done the introductions so we just sat and blethered to each other! ML also taught us the 'awkward turtle' move - it really captured the situation we were in.. I chatted to him for a bit though and he was really nice. He is planning on becoming a patron for TCT so wanted to chat to some of the patients. The other folk there were past patients or out patients who I hadn't met before. 

I don't have any plans for the rest of the week which I'm happy about! The next few weeks are filled with appointments and scans so it will be nice to be home for a bit.

Yesterday we only took an HCG reading from the Beatson and Julie text to say it was at 11 so that's great. I'm always too nervous to get too optimistic. It is definitely good news though. 

Also, my hair is still here... It has definitely thinned but it's still about! Anywho, I'm off now, goodbye.