So I am definitely getting my third hickman line tomorrow morning. My third line in 5 months - I am not having much luck with these! I have said I want to be heavily sedated before it so fingers crossed I'll be talking nonsense and not realise what is going on. They have been apologetic about their mistake but this does not make me feel any better about the situation. I don't want to land someone in it, but it just doesn't seem fair! As you can tell, I am rather annoyed.
I have had an incredibly boring day. I was hooked up to chemo for 24 hours and it came down about 6.30ish. I'm supposed to be 'walking around' but it is quite difficult when you are stuck to a machine! This morning I also felt incredibly nauseous. I kept saying to myself, 'this will pass, this will pass' but it doesn't seem to make it any easier at the time! Mum and I spent the day listening to Elaine Paige's Radio 2 show (mum knitting, me reading) and started to watch Stardust. I can't believe it is 21.30 and I have achieved next to nothing. It is incredibly frustrating.
Mum has gone out for dinner with Auntie Winnie and Kate to Jamie Oliver's 15 Restaurant. I am incredibly jealous as the food in here is horrid. I have never been particularly fussy with food (except butter beans, I hate them) but I just can't face the food in here. A dietician came round today to discuss food and said how important it is for me to keep on eating. I kinda felt like saying, 'well do you wanna make the food half decent then?'. Obvs I didn't as she was very nice and understanding but it seems quite strange that they want you to eat but the food is rank! I think Mum is going to try and get to Waitrose tomorrow to get me some proper food. One thing I am not allowed is salad and I am gutted about this! That might sound a bit odd but I do love a good salad. It's strange the things that I am now not allowed to eat - and also the things that I crave! At this moment in time I could so go a Wagamama's...
I don't really have much more to add so I shall be off. I hope everyone is having a nice Tuesday - I can't imagine I'll sleep well tonight with the prospect of tomorrow looming!
Tuesday, 14 December 2010
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