Tuesday, 7 September 2010

I feel it in my (tingly) fingers

I've been told after every chemo that I might had the side effect of 'tingly fingers' from the drug Cisplattin. So far I haven't had this but this time I defo do! I noticed it the other night when I was cutting my fingernails - it is a very odd sensation. It feels very strange typing - not painful or anything, just weird. It makes it quite hard picking things up too so people have to run around me, which I don't mind! Had a big adventure out today... Dad took me to the sandwich shop on the Main Street... And I was exhausted! I've barely done nothing since I got out of hospital on Sat and I know I have to take it easy but I was desperate to get out of the house. I still can't get over how breathless I get on such short trips. It was weird actually walking through the Avenue too, it had been a while.

I'm still feeling really sick but haven't actually thrown up since yesterday morning. I'm taking so much of the anti sickness medication it seems to be keeping it at bay... I still have this horrid watery chest thing, I can't really describe it but it's really uncomfortable. Mum thinks it's from the steroids I've been taking, they finish in a few days so hopefully it will go away then. Rona, Teenie and myself are planning on going to William's for dinner tonight, I really hope I feel ok for it. It's so hit or miss how I'm going to feel, I just can't predict it.

There have been more e-mails going back and forth from the prof and the other docs and it looks like the operation is going to be on 31st September. It's terrifying that it is so soon but also great that a plan is in motion. I have scans, clinics, blood tests and appointments for the next few weeks but hopefully everything will go to plan and the operation can go ahead. I really want to meet the surgeons and ask them loads of questions but I know I can't do that until I get to London. I'm starting to freak out about stupid things like, 'will the visiting hours be crap and I'll be stuck in a room with loads of randoms all day by myself?' or 'what if things go terribly and mum isn't there?' or 'will the recovery be dreadful and I'll be in London for weeks?' etc. I just read that back and they don't make much sense but anywho. That's just scraping the barrel! To sum it up, I am petrified and will be an absolute mess before it. But I know it has to be done and I have to remain positive that after this operation, this whole mess might be over. It feels like I can't remember a time when this wasn't my life. I cannot wait for things to get back to normal.

Oh I thought I saved this earlier... Clearly I didn't! Whoops. So yes we made it to William's and he cooked a feast, very nice. I am knackered now though. Going to bed very soon and my fingers are still tingly so goodbye!


  1. well proud of you for making it to wills, that will have been really nice! the title of this made me happy,

    night night xxxx

  2. morning poppet!
    It's great news there's an op date in the diary- I've no doubt that you'll be your fantastic self through this next bit... I know the rest of us wouldn't be able to face half of any of this my wee wonder woman.

    Hope Will cooked up a storm of treats for you ladies!